December 27, 2009

can't hold it in

it's been 4 days since he's gone. May Allah bless his soul and may he rest in peace.
i kept myself quiet for awhile and it's not working well for me. when ever i hear the word, it stings my heart. i cry alone in the dark wishing that he's back. i have to let go of this. semua manusia pasti akan kembali kepada-Nya. i can just pray for him.

i don't why i'm feeling so sad about it. maybe because i didn't get the chance to know him more. the call made my heart skipped a beat and i froze. then my eyes were filled with tears. suddenly what ever story that baby had told me about him all came back and made me cry harder. i tried to be strong but i couldn't. when my friend called asking how i was, i cried harder. she told me that i need to be strong.she said that i have to be by baby's side and be the stronger one this time. she told me to cry.so that when i meet baby and the rest of the family i would be able to help them.thank you my dear Fatin.

that evening.... we waited for the jenazah to arrived. i tried to hold back my tears so hard when they placed Arwah in the living room. he looked peaceful and calm.

that nite....picked baby up. for the first time, both of us kept quiet. i asked one question, he'll answer then silence again. i told him....i'm sorry and i cried. i looked at him but not a drop of tear in his eyes. then it was silence again. the only communication there was in the car that nite.

when we arrived at his house, my parents and my friends were there. he hugged his mom, sisters and brothers.after while he came out. on his knees in front of Arwah. that's when i saw it.

baby, i'm sure abah is proud of you and your siblings. i don't know what to say but i love you.

may Arwah future FIL rest in peace and may Allah bless his soul. Al-Fatihah.

Thank you to those who helped baby's family...your kindess will be not be forgotten.

New Year..New Beginning..

December 15, 2009

ade mood so tulis la

my future FIL is in the hospital. he's been in the hospital for almost 9 days already. i do hope the doc will refer him to IJN. risau ok. and kesian ok. hope all will be better. my parent tak abis2 suruh i call baby and ask how's abah is doin. everyone's worried. sekejap doc kata jantung die lemah sekejap doc kata jantung die ok. tp kaki die takde buat ape2 pun. amik darah dah banyak kali sampai lebam2.kesian sangat. suruh puasa sebab nak bius masa cuci kaki tuh tp skali tak jadi nak cuci. sebab darah cair plak. okla. kena tunggu lagi 1 week baru bole cuci kaki. tp abah dah tak sanggup nak duduk kat hospital.kesian sgt.ooo...abah kena celulitis...in a lay-man term..skin infection.

hari ahad lepas tgk abah, teman baby gi sunway. die nak check-in. he has training at puchong and that's the hotel the company booked for him. sampai je terus check in. skali ada problem plak. they can not verify the letter for payment of some sort. so we end up have to pay. firstly they want full payment. OMG was the only thing that came out from my mouth. mana nak cari duit untuk bayar full payment. then the manager came and said we can pay for 1 day and they will refund once they have verify the letter. okla...so next thing to do, find an atm machine so we can pay for the deposit.hehehe...kelakar gile sbb 2-2 tgh kekurangan duit so kena catu2 duit.hehehe...takpela..asal later leh dpt blk. once dah amik duit and byr, the boy tanya.."this room only comes with breakfast for 1. do you want me to make it for 2?" both of us replied, "no!", then the boy looked at us..and waits for us to say "no!". ehehehe..kesian je. so then baby went up and put his bag away and we went for dinner. i was starving. end up makan kat kedai mamak depan hotel. nasi goreng ayam RM6. wohhooooo....mentang2 la kat sunway. nasi goreng ayam kat Abbas Rm3.5 je....nasib la sedap. after dinner baby send me home. sesat kejap tp sesat for a good reason bcoz baby knows how to go to his training place next day. :)

i was reading B2B blogs and suddenly came to rumahkebaya. they're are having promo right now. i think la. so i texted baby...and guess what he replied?... "sounds cool...bile nak pegi?" my reaction??? WOW!!!! baby nak pegi terus? hehehehe...slalu tak camni. i dunno what he has in mind but i loike it.hehe. is it too early?? apa pendapat korang? rumahkebaya bole ke nak survey2 dlu? skali kena book trus abis la kiteorg. kiteorng ni jakun ok...all this wedding2 stuff. we actually have no clue ape kena buat sebenarnye...hahaha...ada guideline? i know i know...i;ve been buying pengatin magazine but i end up looking at the pictures je..i should be excited.well i am excited but takot! normal la kan? bile baca B2B blog...rasa macam eh....terer nye dieorg nih. dah tau nak theme color, baju design camne and etc. and i'm still lost. maybe i rasa the day jauh lagi kot. ntahla. i tak tau ape nak cakap.oooo...btw...semalam mama kata, "mus nak tunang bulan 1...die dah dapat auora from ur engagement."hihihihi...cute je.FYI, mus is my cousin. die ni senyap je...susah nak dengar die cakap. so yay! bole tlg kak zuhara wat hantaran nnt.ehehehe. happy for him! congrats aza!

conclusion: hope my future FIL sembuh cepat, congrats to my cousin, Mus and his future wife, Aza. bile la i nak serious when making decision for my wedding?

la fin~~

December 14, 2009

blank

i don't have the mood to blog right now.

December 04, 2009

a reminder post to moi'

be thankful of what you have sarah. alhamdulillah.

never try to be someone else. you're born to be unique. everyone's born with his or her own uniqueness.

always share your knowledge.

change is for good. look at it in a different perspective. keep your mind and heart open.

care for others. always care for others.

respect others. respect others first then others will respect you as well. respect yourself.

life is not easy so learn to deal with it!

December 03, 2009

According to You

According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right. According to you I'm difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind. I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time, even if it would save my life. According to you. According to you. But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head. According to him I'm funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted. Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it, so baby tell me what I got to lose. He's into me for everything I'm not, according to you. According to you I'm boring, I'm moody, you can't take me any place. According to you I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away. I'm the girl with the worst attention span; you're the boy who puts up with that. According to you. According to you. But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head. According to him I'm funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted. Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it, so baby tell me what I got to lose. He's into me for everything I'm not, according to you. I need to feel appreciated, like I'm not hated. oh-- no--. Why can't you see me through his eyes? It's too bad you're making me decide. According to me you're stupid, you're useless, you can't do anything right. But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head. According to him I'm funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted. Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it, baby tell me what I got to lose. He's into me for everything I'm not, According to you. According to you. According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right.

According to You by Orianthi - taken from here

Thanks Aliza for the song! =) According to Aliza, she used to work with the King of Pop. She's the guitarist. And Aliza was right. According to Wiki. Read here.

So many According this time.

I wonder what baby would say about me? According to baby, I'm hard to please. According to baby, I can't make up my mind. According to baby, I get what I want. According to baby, I'm his!!!!!! Correction, I'm almost his.hehehe.

I want to go to the dolphin show at Sunway. Sape mau teman? wanna know more about the show? go here...

December 02, 2009

communication is the key


if u asked baby, he would agree to this.
if u asked me, i would totally agreed to it.

this what we have trouble in right now. we don't have the right time to chit chat on the phone. no more "hi..how's ur day?" or "what did you have for dinner?" and it goes on and on and on. now it's more like "baby..yadadadadadadadadadadadadada" either from him or from me and the other person on the line, which is either me or him, would be half asleep. we would only reply..."hmm..aaaa...oooo". it depends who is the most tired one, usually him, or if it's too late at night, which is me. i sleep at 10pm.
so now. to avoid any communication breakdown, we sms. hahaha...but sms-ing would mean you could end up waiting for reply after 24 hrs or even more. for sms-ing, sometimes there's problem with the network so you either get a delayed reply or your sms was meant to be sent sooner but never got out of your outbox. then we rely on the delivery/send report service. but sometimes you can't trust this also especially when it's raya, chinese new year or etc.
oh talking about that, this year, to celebrate Christmas, we have a new decoration instead of the old big, tall christmas tree.

~meet the gingerbread family~

~gingerbread's house~


he might be coming back next week and i might not be able to see him.wonderful!!!!! whooppee!!

so how to fix this problem we had??? i write in the journal that he gave me 4 yrs ago. yes. it's all in there. love joy surprise anger sadness fear.


pics from here