December 27, 2009

can't hold it in

it's been 4 days since he's gone. May Allah bless his soul and may he rest in peace.
i kept myself quiet for awhile and it's not working well for me. when ever i hear the word, it stings my heart. i cry alone in the dark wishing that he's back. i have to let go of this. semua manusia pasti akan kembali kepada-Nya. i can just pray for him.

i don't why i'm feeling so sad about it. maybe because i didn't get the chance to know him more. the call made my heart skipped a beat and i froze. then my eyes were filled with tears. suddenly what ever story that baby had told me about him all came back and made me cry harder. i tried to be strong but i couldn't. when my friend called asking how i was, i cried harder. she told me that i need to be strong.she said that i have to be by baby's side and be the stronger one this time. she told me to cry.so that when i meet baby and the rest of the family i would be able to help them.thank you my dear Fatin.

that evening.... we waited for the jenazah to arrived. i tried to hold back my tears so hard when they placed Arwah in the living room. he looked peaceful and calm.

that nite....picked baby up. for the first time, both of us kept quiet. i asked one question, he'll answer then silence again. i told him....i'm sorry and i cried. i looked at him but not a drop of tear in his eyes. then it was silence again. the only communication there was in the car that nite.

when we arrived at his house, my parents and my friends were there. he hugged his mom, sisters and brothers.after while he came out. on his knees in front of Arwah. that's when i saw it.

baby, i'm sure abah is proud of you and your siblings. i don't know what to say but i love you.

may Arwah future FIL rest in peace and may Allah bless his soul. Al-Fatihah.

Thank you to those who helped baby's family...your kindess will be not be forgotten.

New Year..New Beginning..

6 comments:

Nurulhuda|Adlie said...

so sorry to hear that, alfatihah to arwah, hope ull be strong and be a great supporter to ur other half..

aleena said...

may Allah bless him..

b strong ya..

DejahSalleh said...

sorry to hear that babe... AlFatihah to him. everything happens for a reason. be strong yeah.. im just a phone call away..

SaRaH said...

thank you for all of ur support.

~iLL3$t~ said...

dear mai,

be strong k.. i haf experienced that too last year.. although i'm not yet in D* family.. but i've also felt sad n lost of D*'s dad..

u take care..insyaAllah everything gonna be OK..

Al-Fatihah..

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your future FIL, be strong ok...Allah loves him more Al-fatihah, moga ditempatkn bersama org2 yg beriman.

-Aifaa.